Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Season Recap: 2002 S&MB Baseball


FINAL STANDINGS

League Champion:  Totally Unprepared (15-9) Anthony Constantinople
           Runner Up:  Pinstripe Pride (14-10)               Greg Mammolitti
             3rd Place:  Rorshach (14-10)                           Robert Meyers
             4th Place:  Midnight Madness (16-8)             Evan Shenkman
             5th Place:  Sweet Sassy Molassy (14-10)                Jason Joly
             6th Place:  NoMAHs Sox (14-10)                      Tim McMaster
             7th Place:  F**K the Sox (11-13)                   Doug Sonneberg
             8th Place:  Laurie DhueBags (8-16)                  Brian D'Errico
             9th Place:  Mikes Mafia Crew (7-17)                  Mike Corizzi
           10th Place:  Captain Morgan AllStars (7-17)     Chris Chambers




PLAYOFF RESULTS

Semifinal Round


    Pinstripe Pride (Greg Mammolitti)                                        354
@ Midnight Madness (Evan Shenkman)                                        315

    Rorshach (Rob Meyers)                                                           294
@ Totally Unprepared (Anthony Constantinople)                      297


Consolation (3rd Place) Game


    Rorshach (Rob Meyers)                                                          355
@ Midnight Madness (Evan Shenkman)                                         213


THE MATZO BALL SERIES


    Pinstripe Pride (Greg Mammolitti)                                            233
@ Totally Unprepared (Anthony Constantinople)                       256



SEASON HIGHLIGHTS

Monday, July 21, 2008

Rory the Rabbit


Robert Meyers announces a new mascot for his Rorshach team - Rory the Rabbit. Rory, famous for balancing everyday objects on his head, almost does the trick as Rorshach makes it all the way to the Spaghetti Bowl, only to lose to Doug Sonneberg and F**K the Jets in the championship game.

A sad update from Robert:
It is a sad day, as the first, and perhaps most influential mascot in the history of the Spaghetti & Matzo Ball league has passed to the great beyond.

Rory the Rabbit, legendary mascot for Rorschach, died in his sleep at the ripe age of 5 years old. Rory is survived by his wife Randy and 46 kids.

Rory, known best for his ability to balance objects on his head, transcended sports with his ability to connect to fans of all ages. Despite the passing of his talents on to his children, The Rory Foundation has vowed that the act will die with him.

Rory, born in the briar patch, rose to great heights after learning that his ability to balance objects ranging from pancakes to pens on his head could pay off dividends in the sport of mascoting. Featured in several ESPN commericals during his heyday, Rory has become a symbol of Rorschach Inc and its various enterprises.

Rorschach owner Robert Meyers is said to be deeply saddened by the loss of his great friend. In his only statement, Meyers announced that his team will dedicate this season to his memory by wearing a Rory patch on their uniform, as well as by donating money to the Rory Foundation for every win.

In related news, Meyers announced that Rory's best friend, The Pets.com puppet, will carry out the duties of mascotting Rorschach for the remainder of this season.

"In these sad times, the return of our old friend, The Pets.com Puppet is greatly comfoting," stated Meyers.











Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Season Recap: 2001 S&MB Football


FINAL STANDINGS

League Champion:  F**k The Jets (9-5)                      Doug Sonneberg
           Runner Up:  Rorshach (10-4)                                 Rob Meyers
             3rd Place:  The Soprano Crew (8-6)             Greg Mammolitti
             4th Place:  Captain Morgan's AllStars (10-4)   Chris Chambers
             5th Place:  Camorra (8-6)                 Anthony Constantinople
             6th Place:  Go Blue 97 (8-6)                                 Eric Botten
             7th Place:  Cokie Roberts PTPers (8-6)             Brian D'Errico
             8th Place:  Lost in Dakota (7-7)                      Tim McMaster
             9th Place:  pimphands (7-7)                                Seth Bowen
           10th Place:  Legally Jules (6-8)                       Evan Shenkman
           11th Place:  The Muff Divers (3-11)                   Jeremy Daros
           12th Place:  Casual Football (0-14)                      Scott Kaplan




PLAYOFF RESULTS

Semifinal Round

    Rorshach (Rob Meyers)                               
@ Captain Morgan's AllStars (Chris Chambers)   

    The Soprano Crew (Greg Mammolitti)      
@ F**k The Jets (Doug Sonneberg)           


Consolation (3rd Place) Game

    The Soprano Crew (Greg Mammolitti)          
@ Captain Morgan's AllStars (Chris Chambers)   


THE SPAGHETTI BOWL

    Rorshach (Rob Meyers)                   
@ F**k The Jets (Doug Sonneberg)   



SEASON HIGHLIGHTS

Owner Profile: Joe Lifrieri





FANTASY RESUME

• Retired in 2003





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 15%
• Accumulated Winnings - $0
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 4th Place
       - Football - 4th Place
       - Baseball - N/A


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2003 - Team Joe (4th Place)
       • 2002 - Team Joe (10th Place)

Owner Profile: Mike Corizzi




FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Baseball Member
• Retired in 2003



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 31%
• Accumulated Winnings - $0
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 19th Place
       - Football - 8th Place
       - Baseball - 16th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2003 - The Chattanooga Cockminers (5th Place)
       • 2002 - The Showstoppas (11th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2003 - Mexican Jumping Genital Warts (12th Place)
       • 2002 - Mikes Mafia Crew (9th Place)

Owner Profile: Jason Lowther



FANTASY RESUME

• Retired from 2004 - 2007
• Reinstated in 2008



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 31%
• Accumulated Winnings - $80
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 15th Place
       - Football - 16th Place
       - Baseball - 3rd Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - Team Lowther (1st Place)
       • 2004 - Sloppy Second Spiedies (13th Place)
       • 2003 - Sloppy Second Spiedies (3rd Place)
       • 2002 - Sloppy Second Spiedies (15th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2003 - Sloppy Second Spiedies (5th Place)

Owner Profile: Tim Borrelli



FANTASY RESUME

• Retired in 2004



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 38%
• Accumulated Winnings - $130
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 18th Place
       - Football - 15th Place
       - Baseball - 14th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2004 - Timmy's Tasty Titties (2nd Place)
       • 2003 - Timmy's Shaggin' Stewardesses (16th Place)
       • 2002 - Timmy's Tacklin Tamales (14th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2004 - Timmy's Tarballin' Turduckens (11th Place)
       • 2003 - Timmy's Tarballin' Turduckens (7th Place)

Owner Profile: Jason Joly




FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Baseball Member
• Retired in 2004




FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 46%
• Accumulated Winnings - $80
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 7th Place
       - Football - 13th Place
       - Baseball - 4th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2004 - Sweet Sassy Molassy (12th Place)
       • 2003 - Sweet Sassy Molassy (6th Place)
       • 2002 - Sweet Sassy Molassy (9th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2004 - Sweet Sassy Molassy (4th Place)
       • 2003 - Sweet Sassy Molassy (6th Place)
       • 2002 - Sweet Sassy Molassy (5th Place)

Owner Profile: Scott Kaplan




FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member
• Retired in 2002





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 8%
• Accumulated Winnings - $0
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 21st Place
       - Football - 18th Place
       - Baseball - N/A


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2001 - Casual Football (12th Place)

Owner Profile: Brian D'Errico



FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Retired in 2002



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 15%
• Accumulated Winnings - $0
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 17th Place
       - Football - 11th Place
       - Baseball - 15th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2001 - Cokie Roberts PTPers (7th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2002 - Laurie DhueBags (8th Place)

Owner Profile: Tim McMaster




FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Retired in 2005




FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 1
• Participation Level - 62%
• Accumulated Winnings - $380
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 10th Place
       - Football - 3rd Place
       - Baseball - 13th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2004 - Yuenglingers (10th Place)
       • 2003 - Yuenglingers (1st Place)
       • 2002 - Yuenglingers (2nd Place)
       • 2001 - Lost in Dakota (8th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2005 - Yuenglingers (9th Place)
       • 2004 - Yuenglingers (12th Place)
       • 2003 - Yuenglingers (4th Place)
       • 2002 - NoMAHs Sox (6th Place)

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

"Retired" Owner Profiles


Though the owners below have come and gone from competing in the Spaghetti and Matzo Balls League, their legacy continues on forever, including one league championship and one season that will never be forgotten, even though it was for all the wrong reasons.

       • Anthony Constantinople   (2 League Championships)

       • Eric Botten

       • Tim McMaster   (1 League Championship)

       • Brian D'Errico

       • Scott Kaplan   (0 - 12 baby!)

       • Jason Joly

       • Tim Borrelli

       • Perry Vallone   (1 League Championship)

       • Mike Corizzi

       • Joe Lifrieri

Owner Profile: Ely Kaplan





FANTASY RESUME

• N/A





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 15%
• Accumulated Winnings - $0
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 13th Place
       - Football - N/A
       - Baseball - 9th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Team (3rd Place)
       • 2007 - Spoiler (8th Place)
       • 2006 - Not Casual Football (4th Place)

Owner Profile: Perry Vallone





FANTASY RESUME

• N/A





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 1
• Participation Level - 23%
• Accumulated Winnings - $250
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 3rd Place
       - Football - N/A
       - Baseball - 5th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - The Human Fly (10th Place)
       • 2007 - The Human Fly (1st Place)
       • 2006 - The Human Fly (5th Place)
       • 2005 - The Human Fly (8th Place)

Owner Profile: Jeff Foster





FANTASY RESUME

• N/A




FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 2
• Participation Level - 38%
• Accumulated Winnings - $325
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 14th Place
       - Football - N/A
       - Baseball - 10th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - The Ghost Ships (1st Place)
       • 2007 - The Ghost Ships (9th Place)
       • 2006 - The Danny Glovers (6th Place)
       • 2005 - Southern Crackers (1st Place)
       • 2004 - Southern Crackers (7th Place)
       • 2003 - Southern Crackers (10th Place)

Owner Profile: John Maloney





FANTASY RESUME

• N/A





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 1
• Participation Level - 46%
• Accumulated Winnings - $195
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 5th Place
       - Football - 5th Place
       - Baseball - N/A


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - Schmengi Men (10th Place)
       • 2007 - Schmengi Men (4th Place)
       • 2006 - Schmengi Men (5th Place)
       • 2005 - Schmengi Men (1st Place)
       • 2004 - Schmengi Men (7th Place)
       • 2003 - Schmengi Men (13th Place)
       • 2002 - Schmengi Men (7th Place)

Owner Profile: Jeremy Daros





FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 54%
• Accumulated Winnings - $0
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 20th Place
       - Football - 17th Place
       - Baseball - N/A


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - The Evil Doers (7th Place)
       • 2007 - The Evil Doers (9th Place)
       • 2006 - The Evil Doers (8th Place)
       • 2005 - The Evil Doers (10th Place)
       • 2004 - Death by Circumcision (6th Place)
       • 2003 - Post-Masturbatory Prune Hands (10th Place)
       • 2002 - Balloon Knot (12th Place)
       • 2001 - The Muff Divers (11th Place)

Owner Profile: Eric Botten




FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member
• Retired in 2008





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 54%
• Accumulated Winnings - $130
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 11th Place
       - Football - 9th Place
       - Baseball - N/A


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2007 - Hail to the Victors (6th Place)
       • 2006 - Hail to the Victors (3rd Place)
       • 2005 - Go Blue 05 (3rd Place)
       • 2004 - Go Blue 04 (14th Place)
       • 2003 - Go Blue 97 (14th Place)
       • 2002 - Go Blue 97 (6th Place)
       • 2001 - Go Blue 97 (6th Place)

Owner Profile: Seth Bowen





FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member





FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 92%
• Accumulated Winnings - $120
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 16th Place
       - Football - 14th Place
       - Baseball - 12th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - Death By Ennui (6th Place)
       • 2007 - Twister Crossing (2nd Place)
       • 2006 - Twister Crossing (9th Place)
       • 2005 - Twister Crossing (5th Place)
       • 2004 - Central Iowa Paraphiliacs (9th Place)
       • 2003 - Tossed Salad (9th Place)
       • 2002 - Capital District Womb Raiders (16th Place)
       • 2001 - pimphands (9th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Wings Akimbo (6th Place)
       • 2007 - Country Fudge (5th Place)
       • 2006 - Topeka Destroyers (7th Place)
       • 2005 - Surplus Endo (7th Place)
       • 2004 - Upstate Infidels (6th Place)
       • 2003 - Poughkeepsie .45's (11th Place)

Owner Profile: Anthony Constantinople






FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Retired in 2008







FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 2
• Participation Level - 100%
• Accumulated Winnings - $640
• D Cup Title Holder
       - Dec 2002 - Sep 2003
• D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 6th Place
       - Football - 6th Place
       - Baseball - 8th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2007 - Unprepared (3rd Place)
       • 2006 - Unprepared (6th Place)
       • 2005 - Unprepared (7th Place)
       • 2004 - Unprepared (8th Place)
       • 2003 - Camorra (11th Place)
       • 2002 - Camorra (1st Place)
       • 2001 - Camorra (5th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Utterly Unprepared (7th Place)
       • 2007 - Utterly Unprepared (6th Place)
       • 2006 - Utterly Unprepared (10th Place)
       • 2005 - Utterly Unprepared (2nd Place)
       • 2004 - Markedly Unprepared (10th Place)
       • 2003 - Markedly Unprepared (9th Place)
       • 2002 - Totally Unprepared (1st Place)

Monday, July 14, 2008

Owner Profile: Chris Chambers



FANTASY RESUME

• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member




FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 2
• Participation Level - 100%
• Accumulated Winnings - $480
• D Cup Title Holder
       - N/A
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 12th Place
       - Football - 7th Place
       - Baseball - 11th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - House Party (4th Place)
       • 2007 - House Party (1st Place)
       • 2006 - House Party (10th Place)
       • 2005 - Wallabies (9th Place)
       • 2004 - Wallabies (4th Place)
       • 2003 - Squish Da'Fish (7th Place)
       • 2002 - Team Header (8th Place)
       • 2001 - Captain Morgan's AllStars (4th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (8th Place)
       • 2007 - Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (10th Place)
       • 2006 - Little Lebowski Urban Achievers (8th Place)
       • 2005 - Captain's Rum Runners (6th Place)
       • 2004 - Captain's Rum Runners (1st Place)
       • 2003 - Captain's Rum Runners (5th Place)
       • 2002 - Captain Morgan AllStars (10th Place)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The D Cup


Sure you've got your name on the Nulton Trophy, but are you the most successful owner in league history? Want to see how you stack up against all the others who ever owned a franchise? Well, you can - thanks to the Spaghetti and Matzo Balls D Cup.

Based on a complex algorithm developed especially for the league by mathematicians at MIT, the D Cup Champion is "crowned" at the end of each fantasy season as the owner who has the best average finish in all fantasy seasons in which he has participated. In order to not penalize owners who voluntarily do not participate in certain seasons or who are no longer active owners in the league, the calculation utilizes the level of success only in seasons in which the member participates.

In addition to identifying an overall champion, the formula also ranks the owners by their finish in each of the two fantasy categories, baseball and football, allowing all owners to clearly identify their levels of success in each sport.


D Cup Title Holders:

Download the D Cup worksheet for full details.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Owner Profile: Greg Mammolitti


FANTASY RESUME

• Commissioner
• Co-Founder
• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Competition Committee Member



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 0
• Participation Level - 100%
• Accumulated Winnings - $590
• D Cup Title Holder
       - Sep 2004 - Dec 2004
       - Sep 2003 - Dec 2003
       - Sep 2002 - Dec 2002
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 8th Place
       - Football - 10th Place
       - Baseball - 7th Place

HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - So Favre. So What (9th Place)
       • 2007 - Beets. Battlestar Galactica (8th Place)
       • 2006 - More Cowbell (4th Place)
       • 2005 - More Cowbell (6th Place)
       • 2004 - More Cowbell (11th Place)
       • 2003 - More Cowbell (15th Place)
       • 2002 - The Soprano Crew (3rd Place)
       • 2001 - The Soprano Crew (3rd Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Arlene's Angels (9th Place)
       • 2007 - The Evil Empire (7th Place)
       • 2006 - Dago Guinea Wop Greaseball Goombahs (9th Place)
       • 2005 - Dago Guinea Wop Greaseball Goombahs (10th Place)
       • 2004 - No, No, Nanette (2nd Place)
       • 2003 - No, No, Nanette (2nd Place)
       • 2002 - Pinstripe Pride (2nd Place)

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Owner Profile: Doug Sonneberg


FANTASY RESUME

• Co-Founder
• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Competition Committee Member


FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 2
• Participation Level - 100%
• Accumulated Winnings - $585
• D Cup Title Holder
       - Dec 2001 - Sep 2002
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 9th Place
       - Football - 12th Place
       - Baseball - 6th Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - That's What She Said (2nd Place)
       • 2007 - That's What She Said (10th Place)
       • 2006 - You've Got Gold (7th Place)
       • 2005 - Just Call Me Your Bitch (8th Place)
       • 2004 - Me No Are No Nice Guy (3rd Place)
       • 2003 - Lambda Lambda Lambda (8th Place)
       • 2002 - F - - K the Jets (13th Place)
       • 2001 - F**k The Jets (1st Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Fah Q (5th Place)
       • 2007 - Beet Farmers (3rd Place)
       • 2006 - Jewhad (1st Place)
       • 2005 - Strategery (5th Place)
       • 2004 - F - - K the Lawyers (9th Place)
       • 2003 - F - - K the Lawyers (8th Place)
       • 2002 - F**K the Sox (7th Place)

Owner Profile: Rob Meyers



FANTASY RESUME

• Deputy Commissioner
• Co-Founder
• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Competition Committee Member



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 1
• Participation Level - 100%
• Accumulated Winnings - $895
• D Cup Title Holder
       - Dec 2004 - Dec 2007
• Current D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 2nd Place
       - Football - 2nd Place
       - Baseball - 1st Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - A Vick in a Box (5th Place)
       • 2007 - Jacobs & Meyers (7th Place)
       • 2006 - The Moody Jews (2nd Place)
       • 2005 - Rorschach (4th Place)
       • 2004 - Rorschach (1st Place)
       • 2003 - Untitled (12th Place)
       • 2002 - Rorschach (5th Place)
       • 2001 - Rorshach (2nd Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Each Hit (4th Place)
       • 2007 - The Snukes (4th Place)
       • 2006 - Hebrew Nationals (3rd Place)
       • 2005 - Rorschach (3rd Place)
       • 2004 - Project Mayhem (3rd Place)
       • 2003 - Rorschach (3rd Place)
       • 2002 - Rorshach (3rd Place)

Road Trip!

Feb 07, 2002 10:31 AM ET

PARAMUS, NJ - Four Spaghetti and Matzo Balls members met today at the Hooters Restaurant on Route 17 to celebrate owner Doug Sonneberg’s victory in the inaugural season of S&MB Fantasy Football.

Commissioner Greg Mammolitti and Deputy Commissioner Robert Meyers were on hand, accompanied by owner Chris Chambers, as they presented the Nulton Trophy to Doug for his victory in the 2001 Spaghetti Bowl over Meyers' Rorshach team. Doug's team, F**k the Jets, posted a 9-5 record during the regular season.

Served by the lovely (and chatty) Hooters girl,
Dani, the assembled owners caught up with one another over plates of buffalo wings and pitchers of beer. Sorry guys, as the gentlemen (especially Chris) found out the hard way, Dani has a boyfriend. We think. She also has countless unbelievable stories that she very willingly divulged to four men she just met, who were truthfully only interested in staring at the $6,000 investment a short distance below her face. The League's resident aspiring screenwriter, Rob, was diligently taking mental notes of many of her tales during the course of the night.

In a related story, be sure to be on the lookout for “Unlicenced Driver: The Hooters Waitress Story”, coming soon to a theater near you.

Owner Profile: Evan Shenkman



FANTASY RESUME

• Co-Founder
• Charter Football Member
• Charter Baseball Member
• Competition Committee Member



FANTASY STATISTICS

• Championship Seasons - 2
• Participation Level - 100%
• Accumulated Winnings - $1,035
• D Cup Title Holder
       - Dec 2007 - Present
       - Dec 2003 - Sep 2004
• D Cup Standings
       - Overall - 1st Place
       - Football - 1st Place
       - Baseball - 2nd Place


HISTORICAL STANDINGS
(click on team name for final roster)

Football:
       • 2008 - Sucrets (3rd Place)
       • 2007 - Maroju (5th Place)
       • 2006 - Greg Mammolitti (1st Place)
       • 2005 - Я борюсь за меня! Для меня! (2nd Place)
       • 2004 - Cobra Kais (5th Place)
       • 2003 - Fee Times a Madey (2nd Place)
       • 2002 - Rubimac LLP (4th Place)
       • 2001 - Legally Jules (10th Place)

Baseball:
       • 2008 - Midnight Madness (2nd Place)
       • 2007 - Autopilot (2nd Place)
       • 2006 - Leggum Down and Smack'em Yack'em (2nd Place)
       • 2005 - Miserable (4th Place)
       • 2004 - Midnight Madness (8th Place)
       • 2003 - Midnight Madness (1st Place)
       • 2002 - Midnight Madness (4th Place)

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Nulton Trophy

Named in honor of Jeremy Nulton, a very dear friend to many of the S&MB members, who we tragically lost way too early in life, the Nulton Trophy is the ultimate prize in the Spaghetti and Matzo Balls League. The Nulton Trophy is inscribed with both the owner's name and the team name of every S&MB baseball and football champion dating back to our inaugural football season in 2001.


Treated with as much reverence, respect, and honor as the historic Stanley Cup of the NHL, the Nulton Trophy is permanently housed in the league headquarters in Howell, NJ, securely guarded by the Commissioner's personal security staff (his two dogs).

Meticulously handcrafted and extremely fragile, the Trophy is now protected under plexiglass and is retired from travel to ensure its safety so it can stand as the symbol of excellence for the owners of the Spaghetti and Matzo Balls League for seasons to come.


NULTON TROPHY WINNERS

Football:
       2007 - Chris Chambers (House Party)
       2006 - Evan Shenkman (Greg Mammolitti)
       2005 - John Maloney (Schmengi Men)
       2004 - Rob Meyers (Rorschach)
       2003 - Tim McMaster (Yuenglingers)
       2002 - Anthony Constantinople (Camorra)
       2001 - Doug Sonneberg (F**k the Jets)

Baseball:
       2008 - Jeff Foster (The Ghost Ships)
       2007 - Perry Vallone (The Human Fly)
       2006 - Doug Sonneberg (Jewhad)
       2005 - Jeff Foster (Southern Crackers)
       2004 - Chris Chambers (Captain's Rum Runners)
       2003 - Evan Shenkman (Midnight Madness)
       2002 - Anthony Constantinople (Totally Unprepared)

The History of the Spaghetti and Matzo Balls League

Back in the mid 90's, a group of childhood friends partook in the time-honored tradition that most have experienced - going away to college. (OK, so some partook a little longer than others!) During their college years, they all made their own new friends as is to be expected. The group still kept in contact; they just weren’t as close as they used to be. They all had their new lives they were involved in and they kept themselves fairly occupied in these new situations. There’s nothing wrong with that. When they finally finished college and they came back to the lives they had before going away, they kept in touch with each other again, but quite frankly, they weren’t as close as they had been before they went away. Now some people would have shrugged that off and said to themselves, “Well, that’s just the way things work. You can’t live in the past forever. People need to move on.” But one of those friends wouldn’t have any of that. These were the guys that shared all of their childhood experiences together. These were the guys that helped to make each other what they are today. These guys were brothers. Greg wasn’t about to let all that slip away.


He thought back to their childhood and the many things that they shared and had in common. And one thing kept coming back to him - sports. Whether it be playing basketball or wiffleball in Rob’s driveway, their preferred hangout, or playing street hockey in front of Eric’s house or in Doug’s driveway, or just being the nerds they were collecting baseball cards, they were always united by sports. Upon returning from college, Greg had joined a fantasy baseball league on CBS.com and had a pretty good time doing it - heck, he even won the damn thing. That got him to thinking - this would be a great idea to do with his friends. What better way to keep the lines of communication going amongst them than through sports? Something that they would actively take part in and use to remain close. With that, a new fantasy sports league was born in September of 2000 and Greg became its commissioner. It still remained nameless however, but that would only be for a short time as Greg, Rob, Doug, and Evan started brainstorming. After days of deliberation, they then remembered a defining event in their shared lifetime and the perfect name for the league became clear.

Flash back to the summer of 1992. Four skinny suburban white-boys decide to join a 3-on-3 street basketball tournament called Hoop It Up. Yeah, they were a real force – four scrawny white kids from the mean streets of Washington Township and Westwood, New Jersey. There were three requirements to join the league – a small entry fee, transportation to Long Island, and a team name. Well, they each ponied up some dough, secured a ride to the location from Greg’s dad, and they were off. They arrived on that beautiful sunny Saturday morning to the parking lot of the Hicksville Mall. Hicksville. Sounds quaint. Full of hicks, right? They’ll be in their element, playing against other honkies who think they’ve got skills. Yeah, not so much. Playing against some of the most “urban” teen basketball players in the tri-state area, they were no competition. They lost their first game of the double-elimination tournament handily then, despite miraculously pulling off a victory in their first game in the loser’s bracket, they were ousted from the tournament after their third game. They never really stood a chance. Despite their shortcomings, they had a blast, happy that they won at least one game - the Italian kid and three Jewish lads on a team called “Spaghetti and Matzo Balls”.

The name was perfect and the Spaghetti and Matzo Balls Fantasy Sports League was born. Years later, after many fantasy baseball and football seasons have passed, the league is still going strong today. And do you know what? It has definitely served its purpose – the guys are closer than ever. And for that, no matter what place any of their teams might finish in any season, they will always look back at the year as a success. The childhood friends are still a huge part of each others’ lives. And they wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world.

Not only has this league succeeded in keeping the friendships they already had, it has helped them to meet many new people they now consider friends as well. When they needed to fill in a few more spots in the league, they opened it to others: college friends, family members, co-workers. The circle has stayed together - in fact, it's even grown. Mission accomplished.