Rory the Rabbit

Robert Meyers announces a new mascot for his Rorshach team - Rory the Rabbit. Rory, famous for balancing everyday objects on his head, almost does the trick as Rorshach makes it all the way to the Spaghetti Bowl, only to lose to Doug Sonneberg and F**K the Jets in the championship game.

A sad update from Robert:

It is a sad day, as the first, and perhaps most influential mascot in the history of the Spaghetti & Matzo Ball league has passed to the great beyond.

Rory the Rabbit, legendary mascot for Rorschach, died in his sleep at the ripe age of 5 years old. Rory is survived by his wife Randy and 46 kids.

Rory, known best for his ability to balance objects on his head, transcended sports with his ability to connect to fans of all ages. Despite the passing of his talents on to his children, The Rory Foundation has vowed that the act will die with him.

Rory, born in the briar patch, rose to great heights after learning that his ability to balance objects ranging from pancakes to pens on his head could pay off dividends in the sport of mascoting. Featured in several ESPN commericals during his heyday, Rory has become a symbol of Rorschach Inc and its various enterprises.

Rorschach owner Robert Meyers is said to be deeply saddened by the loss of his great friend. In his only statement, Meyers announced that his team will dedicate this season to his memory by wearing a Rory patch on their uniform, as well as by donating money to the Rory Foundation for every win.

In related news, Meyers announced that Rory's best friend, The Pets.com puppet, will carry out the duties of mascotting Rorschach for the remainder of this season.

"In these sad times, the return of our old friend, The Pets.com Puppet is greatly comfoting," stated Meyers.